ADDENDEUM
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Just a couple of issues I would like to clear up on Phantoms In The Night: MISSION DATE Originally I had only said in my Update log that this story took place six months before DS9's final story arc. Since that update is now long buried, I thought it prudent to put that tidbit here. As I said before, I started writing this story in 1997, back when the Breen were still another stock alien. I choose six months on my own estimations of what I thought "would work best" and hence it is subject to some time line inconsistency with other supplemental materials on this site. I'll try to correct those to reflect this change as I find them. TIME JUMPING The beginning of the story, during the 'getting underway' sequences, I didn't really do too good of a job of showing the passage of time. It ended up a little choppy and confusing as a result. Here's a general time frame for events, based on the days apart of each other: I'll stop there because I'd prefer to keep the Phantom's travel time to Breen vague, but from DAY 5, I'd say no more than a week elapsed before they arrived at the Breen system. In the future, I'll try to keep better tabs on timeframe and write it into the story accordingly. THEY'RE ALL RATHER CHUMMY The members of the senior staff, with the exception of Captain Whitman, pretty much knew each other quite well. As such, I tried to drop some learned behaviors they have towards each other, without ever really explaining the why. I'd originally intended the crew biographies to fix up that problem, but forgot to update them accordingly. At the point that Phantoms in the Night takes place, the majority of the senior staff has already been in place for six or so months. Whitman and Senishra really only have connections to Rojc--which would have gone further back than a 'maiden voyage' story. INCONSISTENT BEHAVIOR I felt that some characters were a little bit inconsistent in how they acted. Just trying to find a niche for each of the characters and doing a little experimenting here and there--I'll make an effort to establish personalities better in future stories. COMMANDER SENISHRA I tried to explain it in the crew biography, but looking back I don't think it does its job adequately--Senishra isn't a 'typical' Vulcan. Be it genetics, be it parenting, be it whatever, she doesn't have the check on her emotions we've seen Spock or Tuvok exhibit. However, she will still come off as the stereotypical Vulcan to the crew around her. It was a concise version of a very large and complex issue. I hope people can at least understand what I'm trying to get at with the character's personality. =) DS9's BREEN vs. MY BREEN The Breen were an integral part of the plotline for Phantoms in the Night for quite awhile. At the time I began writing the story, not much had yet been revealed about them, so I went about filling in a backstory for them to suit my needs. The Universal Translator worked perfectly well for my version of the Breen. Besides, I don't know quite how I'd write in an alien language that I have no clue how to even begin describing phonetically. "...Under that helmet." That line gave me a bit of a panic attack considering that I had Neeron X'Ro'Us making facial gestures, et cetera. I stuck with the ice-world scenario, and that the suits were necessary for survival, but I worked with the idea that a long and painful process called 'Thermal Treating' would allow a Breen to not use the suit. The suit was too confining for me, and I figured diplomats would have some kind of device to interact with the others easier. Guess I was wrong. So I'll just say that it's both possible that such specific mission details hadn't filtered out to the majority of the Starfleet and that Worf was just exaggerating. I wanted a funky title for Neeron but was too lazy to come up with anything. The revised story features the change from 'General' to 'Thot'. The Breen named on DS9 have relatively simple names--Gor and Pran. My naming scheme for Breen was essentially this: first name (Neeron, Varus, etc), used specifically to address an individual. The second name (X'Ro'Us, C'Rakl'mus) indicates three different things: Clan (There are seven, each symbolized by one letter), Family (specific family name--kind of like our 'last name'), and the third part which changes with occupation, achievements, etc ('Us' symbolizes that Neeron is a Thot for the Imperial Breen Forces, 'mus' signifies Thot status for Varus, but is more senior than simply 'Us'). Yep. Got waaaaay too much time on my hands. When Neeron stabs his hand, I want to emphasize that it was NOT blood that seeped from the wound--I already knew at this time that Breen did not have blood. So just what is that greenish-blue ooze? I don't remember what my original concept of it was, but more or less it functioned to provide nutrients to the rest of the body--serving the purpose of blood. As for why Martok and Co. could never test the Breen held with them at Internment Camp 371, perhaps they didn't know that fact about Breen biology? So the Breen homeworld isn't a frozen wasteland. My guess is that they found a suitable system to portray the image of such a world, and to keep the true homeworld's location and nature a secret, probably working under the same principle the Founders did when they moved their homeworld. My theory was that the Breen employed a lot of smaller, cheaper craft, relying on swarm techniques. Of course, I didn't rule out the existence of larger vessels--just that they were uncommon. Since I placed my story six months before the last storyline of DS9, I believe the Breen simply shifted their efforts and rebuilt their fleets. Fifteen Romulan warbirds against twenty-three Breen vessels was meant to show some overkill, but not ridiculously so. Perhaps I got a little carried away later on when four warbirds and the Phantom took on a slightly larger fleet. Weyoun said that it was the first time they had met face to face in "INSERT EPISODE NAME HERE". I'm sure he was just referring to his personal meeting with Thot Gor. I think I've covered all the inconsistencies with the Breen... THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN One of the reasons why I made Rojc a Tarsian War veteran was to be able to play around with some superhero-like powers. I've decided not to define these powers at this time, as it might mess me up in the future. As for Rojc's miraculous healing abilities, he can't normally take a direct disruptor shot to the chest. A setting that would be enough to kill an ordinary person would only severely wound Rojc; such a setting was used by Neeron. When so severely injured, Rojc enters a death-like state to heal. I'll try not to abuse Rojc's miraculous talents. >B) If there's something else in the story that made you go, "What the--?!", feel free to contact me at shalkman@execpc.com and ask about it--I'll do my best to address it. |
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